LETTER TO MY CRUSH

This may probably come as no news but yes, I have feelings too and much recently I have seen a few developments in my life. I have a crush! I have been trying to go on a serious cleanse but damn this one caught me pants down – I wish. In other terms that may not have things confused, she caught me off guard.

It was one very chilly evening and I was walking fast from band practice. My place was quite far so I was minding my own business walking very fast to my room to get some cocoa or something really warm. I just didn’t know the something really warm would come so soon. The sight of her was heart-warming. She waved back in her ‘hello kitty’ mittens. I almost purred back at her. All I was hearing in my head was my inner voice trying to challenge me into at least asking her name. ‘Hey stranger!’ she giggled at me as I waved back while chewing words. I can’t tell up to now what I really wanted to say but I bet it was nice.

On my way to my room, all I could think about was how she smiled at me and her giggle kept ringing in my head like some kind of broken record. Did she mean it? Was she planning to stay a stranger forever? Did she want me to shake her hand or hug her? No, she probably just does the same thing for men thirsting after her but SHE NOTICED MY COLOGNE!!! A soliloquizing frenzy was going on in my head. Chains of rhetorical questions stringing like Polish sausages around my head.

I got to my place and to get rid of the teenage fantasy I decided I should maybe address the questions to the right person. In a letter. A moment of silence for that stupid yet bold idea right there… No right word came to mind. I flipped the pen into a rhythm that could have probably been a song for her. The tip got ruined from too much flipping and I had to get another one as I yet pondered what to say to this epitome of beauty I just unearthed.

When I say unearthed I mean it. Her skin tone just agreed with the colour of the earth after a little tan from the midday sun. On a cold day like the one we randomly met, she was kind of pale yet alive and radiant with a lot of positive energy. Her smile defied the weather, heart-warming and vivante! Did I just repeat heart-warming? I guess I’m playing on a loop, happens every time I start tapping deep into the part of the brain responsible for letting me down like this.

This is somewhat a let-down because I was hoping I’d stay alone for a while as I was trying to figure out what I want in life. A friend told me I can’t multitask. Well maybe it’s true because I couldn’t juggle thinking of my interests and hers at the same time. Men are hard wired that way don’t blame me.

On second thought, I had a feeling this was going to be one bitter-sweet experience. You know that urge to eat something simply because it is there? Yea, I hate to think I want her to be in my life for that simple reason that she is there. I want her to share my good and bad. Joy and pain. Sickness and health. Oh damn it! I already sound like am writing my vows. I think I have already seen our kids as teenagers. When a man’s mind wanders this far into the future, be sure time travel is real. Men only think about a future when you really mean a lot to them. It’s probably the one time our instincts don’t fail us.

My roommate now thinks I am in a trance because am smiling like a gecko and flipping my pen incessantly. The first few words come in mind and it is like pricking a boil when ripe. Ideas just kept flowing. Bad reference but you get the idea, no? The letter went something close to this;

Hey stranger,

You don’t know how many times I have wanted to ask your name but I couldn’t because well, your smile comes in the way of my words. How I wish it was your lips that came in the way of mine at some point. Am sure you have noticed how many times I lick my lips. It is pretty hard not to notice when someone looks like they practically want to devour you. How to do that without inflicting pain is something am still working on.  You are probably wondering who I am. Am that guy who waves at you. Still makes no sense. Okay. Am that guy who bit a coin trying to make you think I was a magician.  Am never really sure if you like me… even remotely. It is hard to tell in between the giggles and when you look right through me. I just stand there and wish you saw right through me instead.

I have resorted to old and hopefully a sweeter method to express my innermost feelings and declare my interest in you. That sounded like a business deal right there but trust me the only thing am selling is ideas on how to make you happy, for the rest of your life.

This is the plan. I somehow get to make you see how empty your life would be without me and we all win. It’s a long shot but I may just get lucky. Lucky is the word because not every man gets what he exactly wishes for. You are my ten over ten kind of lady. Perfect for me from the inside out. I have been sitting on the side-lines watching long enough to know that we could make a great team.

I know I have just about the lousiest pick-up lines you have ever heard but my insides feel mushed up and I can’t get my mind to think straight. I may be expecting too much but I have already seen a beautiful future. Not anyone who looks into your eyes sees what I see.

If I put everything down in writing I will only be left to look into your eyes and hope you say yes. There won’t be much left to be said. After the letter gets delivered there will be too many questions in my mind. Will she like it? Will she ever talk to me again? Did I offend her?

It may be too soon to mention love but I strongly feel that we should get to know each other better and see where this goes. Even if you don’t see me the way I want you too, I will live knowing I at least got to ask your name.

Adrian.