OBSESSED

He waited for half the semester and nobody seemed to throw even a glance his way. He held out his heart and it almost became a part of his hand. All he asked for is somebody to worry about. He was humbled and didn’t want much but a look in his way.

He then met this gorgeous one. A drop dead diva he had only been seeing in school and half the time in other men’s arms. He asked her out after a lot of overnight texting. He finally broke the ice and this finally gave him hope of a heartwarming experience.

The date was here and he got all nervous. He became clumsy and without realizing it, he stopped listening to her and stared at her face sheepishly. Who wouldn’t want to stare at a young, beautiful-to-the-bone teenager? This was the big break he had really needed.

For a first date she was well groomed. She had a short, black evening dress with a scarf that went all the way through her back and hang in her arms. Her mascara glittered every time she blinked. Her heels didn’t only elevate her body but her beauty too. She made a trademark head swing every time her hair blocked her view that was followed by a smile as she talked to him. She was full of life and energy and he had a field day checking out all the dimples that formed with every word she uttered. Her hair flowed down her cheeks. He wanted to reach out and put his fingers through her hair but he was scared she might not have liked it.

He couldn’t help but notice the envious look on everyone’s face...or was it just confused pity? He couldn’t tell them apart in between all the groping. She had held his hand with one hand and the other was round his waist. Her head rested on his shoulder and he had a glimpse of heaven for a while there.

She proved to be quite a handful though…he took her to an event for a first date and she suddenly decided that the event wasn’t thrilling enough!!! Even after the tickets had been bought. She felt thirsty and she insisted that they take a walk to the shop. “Oh shoot! I only have coins!” he had this priceless look on his face while he said that. Looked more like a kid who had just messed the diapers. “No problem. I will walk you to your room so long as you promise to carry me back,” after that remark she paused awkwardly. “Of course am kidding! But you should never worry they say I am feather weight.” He heaved a deep sigh of relief not because he didn’t want to carry her but because he’d want to kiss her with their faces lined up that close and no one could tell her reaction. This was the reason he didn’t carry his wallet around. The most expensive drink there is served to her and while halfway through, “I think I can’t have more than that” she said that as she put the fruit juice down.

All this while she threw hints that she could be in some better place but he was blind to this. All for that warm re-assuring embrace and the look in her eyes that let him in straight to her soul. She smiled lovingly at him. Show me the clever guy who would see past this entire charade even if she told you she is bored by the event you planned all week for.

He braved the cold and stayed with her doing small talk as they waited for her ride to her hostel. All this while he hoped against hope that she would agree to spend the night at his place even if it means watching her sleep. He’d give his life at this point just to hold her arm while she slept. He wished she’d take to his bosom and make it her pillow.

In his head, he had her in his arms staring deep into her eyes with soft kisses at all the right places telling her how much he loved her. All this couldn’t happen then because half the time he was with her, he was staring at her dazzling beauty. He hadn’t been smiled to, embraced or given that look that melted his heart in a long time. One hour of this was like an eternity’s worth of frolicking.

It was that time of the week again and all roads led to the drinking hole. He headed there like a zombie majorly with one agenda- just to have a glance at her. He danced normally but suddenly stopped to look right after she passed by. The lady he was dancing with wondered why he lost his step every now and again. Little did she know that his eyes were feasting on another.

He couldn’t ask her to dance because he wanted to see her gyrate her body even if it is with another man. She never disappointed at all. She always shook it like she owned it. It didn’t take so much effort for her to be the center of attention. She finally noticed him (I think it’s hard not to notice someone staring blankly at you) and gave him a warm hug probably to keep his eyes off her body for once. She told him she had missed him and he went silent. He tightened his hug to say ‘I missed you too’. This is something he never gets to hear much often so he just stood there speechless and made the hug linger but a second longer. She got back to dancing with the girls and all he was left to do is stare at her as she left.

After the greeting, she didn’t even notice him every time she passed him to seek another man’s embrace. It’s like for a while there he didn’t exist in her world of men. He didn’t dance as usual but sat in a corner and watched life pass him by. He was acting like he was widowed. He got the best vantage point and his heart slowly warmed up. His face lit up every time she came her way. Every time she hugged another guy, all he could hear above her giggles and the music was his heart breaking. The night was too short and they parted ways.

At this point he hated her as much as he loved her and the days seemed endless as he plotted and schemed on ways to have her just for himself. The jealousy and obsession grew on him like a bad weed and it was spreading fast through his system. He could no longer think straight. He had problems concentrating in class. He only saw his princess with every turn he made every smile he saw and it was almost like she was haunting him.

 His closest friends tried to talk some sense into him. “You’re going to get hurt by that conniving two timing enchantress.” At this point he felt like everyone was against his hard found happiness. To him, it was them against the world. The major reason he could not stand any open criticism is because his heart had been broken one too many times and he couldn’t imagine it happening one more time.

The one thing that kept him going was the thought that the girl could have chosen to be with anyone but she chose him. Even if it was not for dating, she must have had a reason. She must have seen something the rest didn’t see in him though he could not put a finger on it just yet.

As the days went by, he sank deeper into what he thought was love and he spent most of his days building castles in the air for his princess. He gazed blankly into space and it was clear whatever he was feeling had retarded him. He had a picture of her as the background picture on phone and laptop. He had the pictures on the ceiling so that she could be the last thing he saw right before he slept and the first he saw the moment he woke up.

He had never invited her over to his place. She always took her time and always postponed her long awaited visits. There was this one day it rained hard and it was up to the knees outside. She called and a damsel in distress is never ignored. He quickly rushed to pick her in the rain and she was warm and dry in his room as soon as possible.

The girl finally had a chance to get comfortable. She looked around and what she saw startled her. She saw all kinds of her pictures on the walls and she got freaked out. She hurried out of the room like a spooked cat and walked into the rain without a word. He tried to talk her into staying but she wouldn’t oblige. She thought this guy to be some kind of freaky person who might make wrong advances and since she too had had a few bad experiences, she could not risk it again.

He did not sleep at night. He tossed and turned and sleep was to no avail. He called her severally but she didn’t pick or return his calls. That was his breaking point. It not only broke his heart but also his will to go on living. Life had made him think that the people especially the ladies he cared about were never meant to stay in his life for too long. He had lost his mother and his high school sweetheart at a go and this was probably the last straw on his back. He spent his days in bed and on one fateful night he slept a dreamless sleep. One he hadn’t had in a long while.

He vegetated in his sleep. The stress was too much for his fragile heart. He had a mental breakdown. His brain could hold just enough stress at one go. He felt abandoned and dejected. Loneliness set in and he was just a phone call away from riding the short bus. It caught him staring up at her picture on the ceiling and the last sane thing on his face was a smile though now it grew weird as it was perpetual and the only thing keeping it there was a piece of her picture. He had soaked up the picture in his drool and nobody could make out who was in the picture but him.

Obsession was clearly not working for him and his need to feel loved led to a lot of compromising and he broke his heart more than he mended it. She clearly didn’t deserve all that love.

He might not have seen the imminent dementia but it was probably for the best. “You won’t suffer anymore,” This is normally what they say to any patient but the love sick. He might not have had the chance to enjoy his prime years of his life but he certainly had a chance to love…or whatever you’d call what he was hopelessly falling into. It’s at times like this that we wish we had iron veins and hearts cold as stone. This way, we’d never get to love and subliminally evade any kind of heartache.

THE WAKE UP CALL

As I slept the previous night I looked forward to so much. At about four in the morning a call comes in waking me up from my sleep. Normally, nobody calls in at four unless someone is dying or I had asked them to. It was a panic call from the school. She had called to inform me on the unrest and she asked me to be there urgently. I didn’t take it seriously at first because the biggest unrest I’ve seen in Maseno University is when the students are campaigning for the elective positions in the student organization. I couldn’t imagine anyone starting their campaigns in the wee hours of the morning like that.

Sleep caught up with me as text messages kept flowing in from the students who were in the heart of the unrest. I woke up an hour later thanks to another panic call. This time I believed it was real. I woke up with a start and got dressed real quick. On my way all I could see was scared faces. Students were making calls home and saying something about someone getting attacked in Mabungo, a common shopping center that has been hosting a few students for quite a while.

Apparently a student had been critically injured and rushed to hospital. The student had sustained injuries from a foiled robbery in Mabungo at his place of residence. In the wake of the recent crimes, it was understandable why the students were very agitated. Just recently another young lady was raped as she walked to her hostel and the students were not satisfied with the actions taken if any. She was from a late night event hosted by Safaricom Live within the school when she was attacked and the boyfriend was injured as he tried to save the situation.

It is sad how students cannot live in peace while they pay through their noses for security. The last incident was the last proverbial straw that broke the camel’s neck. Maseno students have always been known as the peace loving types which I’d now like to refer to as sleeping giants. The anger had piled up for a while and it took a toll on the locals at Maseno center and Mabungo center. There was debris of fridges along the Kisumu-Busia road. There was property strewn all over. The owners tried to save a little of what was left from the fire and the looting.

Wanton destruction of property was uncalled for but the students and locals took advantage of the lapse in security and looted the shops around there. It was an ugly sight. The police had held the students in the main campus hostage. The police had completely surrounded every possible exit and all the students inside could do is hurl stones at them. The police, both administration and local police, appreciated the gesture by launching tear-gas canisters right at them.

The students ran in a stampede on every shot. Everybody ran helter skelter and it’s only now that a sense of unity was not really making sense. All I could hear from outside the school was screams and moans. The war cries were encouraging enough every time they survived a tear-gas canister launched at them. The police noticed a rise in the number of students who were outside and they realized they had to deal with two battle fronts. They were outnumbered twenty to one but they still carried on. All we had was stones and numbers anyway and they were well prepared for that.

As the students in the inside had them busy, the students outside hid at a vantage point and targeted the civilian cars passing after the barricades were removed. The trailers didn’t feel the hail of stones as much as the sedans and saloon cars. They hurried past ignoring the bumps. Anybody on their way would have been road kill. The students put the barricades again after the police relaxed a bit. The police at the gate still maintained the siege. Nobody went in or out for fear of the worst. The few students who were unlucky enough to get caught were held in the AP holding area.

After a lot of running battles, stampedes that led to several people injured and looting and destruction of public property, the students got convinced to have peaceful dialogue. No sooner were they out than they got rowdy again. The numbers on the two war fronts was balanced and the police were being pushed up the wall. They might have had the live bullets out of desperation. For when push comes to shove probably.

Students were interviewed by the press that was present. Just as the police were being pushed to the edge by the very angry mob of students, the vice chancellor’s car was spotted at the students went at ease hoping against hope for dialogue and understanding. The students became a little calm and listened to the VC. He wasn’t audible and he had to request to be given time to organize for a public address system so that he may address the students at the graduation square.

In the meantime, the students did not want to be addressed while some of them were in custody of the Administration police. The students marched to the AP camp and demanded the freedom of the students. The APs tried to make an example of them but nobody really cared about that.

The students that got trapped as they fetched water or any other business in the main campus were held under a siege. Again. The rest followed the VC to the pavilion at the graduation square. After a while the police decided to let them go to avoid getting two battle fronts as there was a mass piling up behind them. They were allowed to walk past the gate in a single file with hands behind their heads like it was prisons shake down.

The students hurried to the graduation square and got to hear the few things the VC had to say. The VC had promised to build a swimming pool in an effort to calm the insecure students. It didn’t work out well until an aspiring SOMU chair, James Okumu, took the mega phone and addressed the students on the way forward. The VC had recognized the accommodation and security problems. The students gave him the benefit of doubt and calmed down. A procession was led into Mabungo to view the residence of the victim.

The damage done to the place was appalling. A hotel was burnt down and they were collecting the debris. Much more was turned over earlier in the night and all we witnessed was in a sorry state. The students were turned down at the residence and later informed that the student was recuperating in the hospital.

Meanwhile, the students had stormed the mess for food on being told by the VC that they’d eat for free that day. The cashier’s place was looted and all of the cash taken. Everybody was rowdy in there until they started serving. Some students were not the rowdy type and stealthily engaged in panic buying because all the shops were closed and there was no place to get food for supper or lunch.

A cease fire was called and the students went back to their respective residences. Some went back in fear of retribution from the locals for the damage and harm caused. Am sure peace will be maintained by all means as promised by the VC and the police. It’s a long shot but we tried. We gave them a wake up call. 

check out the video on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsSvcgY9nO0&feature=g-all-u

tips for women

Tips for the women in the house:
1) Let him know you believe in him. This will
empower him to achieve his dreams. You made
him feel that he was more special than anyone or
anything else, before marrying. Work to help him
see that again.
2) Accept your husband for the man he is, instead
of wishing you could change this or that. (Stop
concentrating on your spouse’s faults (this makes
them look even bigger than real life). Instead,
work on your own. Take the “log”out of your own
eye, as the Bible says to do in Matthew 7:5.)
3) Help him be a hero to his kids. Speak well of
him and the good things that he does. (You are
God's choice for being your husband's
cheerleader, when it comes to your husband.
(And the same goes for him.)
4) Appreciate the things he does —like making
repairs around the house. (Even if he doesn't do
them well —at least he's making the effort —
which is more than a lot of husbands will do.)
5) Let him spend time with the guys doing “guy”
things (unless those "guy" things compromise the
integrity of your marital relationship).
6) Respect his right to need some space
sometimes. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.
7) Stop asking him to throw out his torn, faded
jeans. What you hate about them is what he loves
about them. [Learn to choose your battles —
concentrate on things that really ARE important.]
8. Stop criticizing his mother or father. This may
be difficult to do when his family makes life
difficult for you. "Speak the truth in love" and —
motivated by love, when it concerns his family. If
this doesn't help, ask the Lord to show you how to
handle the situation in the godliest, most
peaceable way possible.
9) Be patient with him. Make him feel special —
he’s still someone who craves your approval.
10) Keep looking your best — for him … and for
yourself.

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MY SPOKEN HEART/ CRY OF A SILENT WOMAN

MY SPOKEN HEART

I speak my heart

Can’t live with hurt

So am about

To let it all out.

I can’t hold it

Like I can’t keep it

All inside

Is it dark or what

Can I still hold it

Or have I lost it.

Am barred

Can’t speak

Listen to my heart beat

And when you no longer can

I’ll tell that it’s gone

As it flows through the feeble connection

I can’t stop the want and need for affection

All I hear in my head is ‘FOOL’

When I know without love I’ll never be full

Gets me thinking, why am I even sad?

When life has been nothing but a springing flower bud

All I say is I wish spring gets done with

And let me see every flower in my life blossom

Heat of hate

The heat of the hate of the demon scorching sun

It gets me letting go my rags, I think I’ll go mad

I can’t believe am still holding on

The letting go of the giving in

The key to this virtual house of mine

Not everyone allowed to go in it

That’s when I realized you are not just anyone

You’re a thief

You moved in as the wind

I gave you no key and passwords to move in

You damn stole your way in

I didn’t want you there

I damn wanted no one there

To sit and boss around

Because you know you stole it all

Convince yourself I can’t take it back

I got your back but watch out coz one of these days dude,

I’ll damn get away from you!

The cry of a silent woman

If I could

I would

I’d just shout

STOP! STOP! He is a beast!

I see his eyes hunger

He is a prowling lion

His hands are ugly claws

His eyes bloodshot

Making every nerve of my body jump

But I still can’t

Just can’t

I remember when he used to smile

And I would smile back

When I was innocent

When I was pure

But on one ugly night

He took it all away

Now I’m lost

Can’t remember where I got lost

In the hands of a prowling lion

He deceives with a smile!

Don’t laugh at his jokes!

This is all I want to show

But I say it quietly

Enough!

I’ve had enough!

Stop lying you deceiver

You black demon with horns!!

But I look around

Everyone is still and calm

For I do not speak

I only shout within me

I ache within

He looks at me

With now hateful eyes

The feeling is mutual

I despise him

Despise myself

Despise nature that allowed this happen

Am sweating profusely, swearing intensely

Boiling with anger

But outside am only an ordinary

Silent lady

Succumbing to the present troubles

That no one dares to care at

But I realize its all in vain

If I can’t he won’t stop

So I will talk

To save the angels

From the black headed demon

I’ve been silent giving the cry

Of a silent woman.

But no longer, if he dares,

I will scream

I will tell the world

The unfortunate disaster stricken

To save the innocence restore purity

Uphold goodness 

An urge to all angels

All ladies with dignity

Don’t be so calm

Or yet too civilized

We all know too well

This is no civilized world

When you are in trouble

When you can’t kick

When you can’t prick

When you can’t bite

When you can’t hurt

Scream

And I’ll be there

A silent woman

Saving womanhood.

ME

You never realize how well you don’t know yourself until you are given a chance to describe yourself in not less than 300 words. Its mind boggling but it has an upside; you get to know who you are as most of young adults are in the self-discovery stage.

I don’t know whether to start by what my friends say about me or my personal opinion but honestly am finding what friends say to be somewhat flattering. Some would say am sweet and caring but the worst part is where nobody knows if I have a dark side or not. What worries me is if there is any at all. Sad I don’t know of any too.

We only get stories from our parents of how we came to be born but it doesn’t take much faith to believe them because there is no other story. Mine told me I was born in the Kiambu town suburbs in a humble hospital. I have always believed where you come from never determines where you are going and looking at things as they are presently, I am not disappointed but by only a few things.

Everybody’s life shaped by the various dimensions it has. There are romantic relationships where the ones we love get to know us so well, our inner secrets and hidden personalities. When love is involved the best and worst is brought out and since we live off love, it is easier to describe someone you love as compared to someone you don’t bear feelings for.

I cannot say am perfect but when my friends say am a nice person, there must be some grain of truth in what they say. My only few weaknesses are that I have too much to give and I give it too easily which is mostly to my detriment. I mostly get chewed and spat like a big ball of mucus by most of my undeserving friends.

Am born of two parents but one has since left us. As the first born it’s hard to cope because I became a second parent by default and had to make adult decisions while yet too young. It’s been of much benefit since I have grown in mind body spirit and was able to get over all the hurdles life had to throw in my way. Am happy to know that life cannot surprise me anymore. There isn’t a new trick in the bag I don’t know of. Ability to see life different from my peers has earned me some kind of good name among them. To some I am their love doctor. To some an advisor. To some a shoulder to cry on and for a lifetime a loving big brother.

FRIENDS?

This is a question not many guys like answering after or during a breakup. If the answer is yes from a guy, then the guy has some flicker of hope that someday the embers of friendship will be given breath and rekindle to the flame of love it was…… or better. I don’t know what ladies or men understand exactly when they break up but one thing am sure of is that we don’t all understand it the same way. Ladies believe its elevation to friendship but men see it as relegation to just a common person. Way below what any man expects of a lady.

This goes against everything I believe in, but it takes a real man to stay and make the friendship work. That’s the very abnormal me speaking but sad it’s only right that you stay as friends. Love has no rules but this is an unwritten one. You can never be ‘just’ friends with someone you love. Don’t test whether he is a gentleman enough to stick around after you kick him to the curb. Life is too short to do trial and error. As they say you will find that you have been picking rocks as everybody picked the jewels that you made ‘just’ friends.

The whole point of breaking up is not to be enemies exactly but to change how you look at the relationship you had. After being lovers the only next thing you can be is strangers or best friends. Ladies had better get that through their heads or they will only break their own hearts by expecting too much from lover turned stranger. It will never be the same so don’t even try making the break up sound any better by trying to be ‘just’ friends with a guy who gave you his heart. It only makes it worse.

Don’t get it twisted though. Some guys will take advantage of being strangers to follow their vendetta. Revenge is sweet but remember this is someone you love or loved depending on what you shared. As a gentleman, it’s only fair if you walk away before you break what is left of your heart.

Funny when she becomes the person you meet in every turn you make. Not that you follow each other but I believe hearts have a way to find each other. Talk of being soul mates. Occasionally say hi. It is plain rude to pretend like you don’t know her even though you are familiar ‘strangers’.

Being a gentleman is some piece of work. It only takes men with the right cojones to give up their interests and think of the people around them however bad they hurt them or otherwise. It’s hard but I am only trying to make it as realistic as possible because I know it breeds a lot of uncertainty. Is it too hard not to take advantage of your power or of the weakness of those around you?

RIGHT CHOICE

Simon couldn’t help but notice how dejected Anne was. She had her palm to her face and chains of thought ran through her mind. She looked like she was on the verge of breaking down. Simon pulled a chair beside her and softly asked her what the problem could be. All she could mumble between sobs was that she had had a fight with the boyfriend.

It had always been the epitome of relationship. It was some kind of yard stick for most other relationships in the school and with such monumental value, it was easy to notice when something went wrong between them. They were always together. They had clearly forgotten themselves and embraced one personality. It could all be read in her face and Simon felt empathic. Anne slowly narrated as he listened intently. He finally asked her to go with him to have something to eat because it did not help if she went hungry.

Word goes round very fast in school and everybody in school could notice how deep Simon’s gaze was when he looked into her teary eyes. Simon did not only feel empathic but he had always reserved feelings for Anne that I can’t say was what her boyfriend offered but probably there was more than met the eyes. Simon helped her through her trouble with a few sweet words and always avoided the subject of his boyfriend.

Simon couldn’t hold it in any longer. He went to tell her that he had more feelings than he was letting on but he hated what would happen if she didn’t say the words he wanted to hear. He couldn’t live with losing her forever yet he had to do something to wipe tears off her face and give her the smile and warmth she had since missed. Simon gathered his courage and finally spoke to her about her issues with the boyfriend and as he wound up he told her, ‘Anne, I have always wanted to see you happy and most of all be the reason behind it. What you guys disagreed about is not a very simple matter but if you can’t find joy and happiness through all the trouble and trying moments in the arms of the man you love, then you are in the wrong arms.’

Simon hadn’t planned his wording. Though he might have been a little careless with them, he took Anne’s feelings into consideration before his own and saw Anne walk into a blissful relationship though it tore his heart from his chest. Such qualities in a man don’t come with many. He could have easily taken advantage and had hiss way at the weakest of points in her life but he helped her up even though it left him in the mire. These are the kind of friends everyone dreams of. Anne was lucky to have a gentleman, though clumsy, in his life. Do you?

DO IT RIGHT

Waiting in line for food has always been the norm for most students in his school. John was in a not so well built campus. He didn’t complain much because it didn’t define the kind of education he’d get from there. It is a topic most people talked in whispers because it is embarrassing to say a school is not up to your desired standards yet you don’t apply for a transfer.

There are two lines to be formed every meal time. John had already taken a receipt for his food and was already in the second line. Grace, a girl in her class, had really wanted to tag along but she got held up while finishing off an assignment. She had to send john if she wanted to get some of the best meals served there because if she had gone later they’d be out of the best food.

She came panting and she had barely caught her breath when john beckoned her to join him in the line because it gets really boring waiting to be served. He made space in front of him and while joining the line grace couldn’t help but notice that the others in line were not so impressed by what had just happened.

Complaints were raised and suddenly there was unrest in the hall. After an exchange of unpleasant words, grace clearly couldn’t hold the urge to walk right up to the guy and slap the taste out of his mouth. John was quick to notice the sudden turn of events and he went after her to bring it to an end. Sadly she had gone close enough for contact and as john tried to talk her out of her anger, there were screams all over and the boy who had insulted grace fled the scene.

Before the pain set in john wondered why there were screams and why they became distant by the second. He felt the pain in a distance and in a heap, he fell on the wet floor with a fork in his back. The fork that was to be in grace’s stomach was sticking out of him and life oozed slowly out of him as he kicked softly to gasp for air.

The autopsy showed that he died out of a punctured lung. Grace didn’t know whether to blame herself or the bastard that saw it wise to stick a fork in john’s back. In his eulogy it read:

A young man’s life ended in its prime by a person who held a fork better than his temper.

Among many other praises that were sang that day, gentleman is not a word that came to many people’s mouths because not very many people know how hard it is to hold your temper especially when someone mentions parents somewhere in between the insults. It’s all fun and games until your parent is mentioned but it took a great deal of patience on the side of john not to strike back and hold tongue against the assailants. His death will be to many a lesson on kindness and the kind of sacrifices that should be made for peace and goodwill to prevail. It’s not his death that made him a gentleman; anyone could have taken that fork. It was his gearing towards a worthy cause.

GENTLEMAN’S DIARY

U

pon hearing the word gentleman, one by default thinks of a person who likes pleasing ladies. If you’d get to ask the ladies to define a gentleman for you, you’d be surprised to hear all the qualities of a perfect man. They tend to overlook the fact that above being a kind, warm, nice, caring and all the good qualities, that we are human and we are bound to make mistakes. It’s no wonder when you hear a woman claiming that gentlemen do not exist. To most, men are selfish pigs who don’t give a damn about anybody else and only think from below their waists. I am not denying that there are very poor examples of men who are always making it hard for the next guys by breaking girls’ hearts to smithereens. What happened to chivalry?

The following series will help you see how messed up a gentleman’s life can be. Not everyone appreciates good things when they see one. It doesn’t mean by being a gentleman that you will get everything on a silver plate. It just shows the many twisted ideas people have about being a gentleman.

A disclaimer should be put across that not everything that glitters is gold. Impostors are bound to be there. They will act like the real deal but they only have ulterior motives. It can easily fool anyone most especially if you have never seen a nicer only for them to turn on you and stab your back. With this you can run a few tests to find out whether they are the knight in shining armour you have always seen in your dreams.

A gentleman’s life can also be a bed of roses that everyone cherishes and puts a good word upon every lip and a smile that warms the heart. Not all will love him but there will be little or no reason to hate him. It’s a man who conspires no evil against friend or foe. A man who loves all and hates none. It sounds overrated but it is not as preposterous as it sounds. I know we are all human and it’s easier to hate someone who hates you but it’s the strength to overlook our emotions and act upon rationality that makes us gentlemen.

As soon as the word gentleman pops nobody thinks of any evil thing in the man. It confuses me how some would be of the opinion that a ‘bad’ boy can be a gentleman. It’s like saying a good ‘bad’ boy is existent. By being a bad boy, it automatically nullifies all the chances of him being a good boy simultaneously. This only implies he is good to his lady and to nobody else and it’s mostly with ulterior motives because of the benefits that are at stake in case he treats her bad.

Most of this sounds like walking on fire barefoot without getting scathed. This only calls for the proper priorities in life and some effort towards making sure they are done to the letter. The lady who defined a gentleman as a man who doesn’t force his ideas on a woman soft with words and handling of ladies. A very heartwarming expectation, huh? Try this definition. One who is aggressive enough but knows and accepts his limits. That will see sweat off many guys’ brows. A listener will do the trick anywhere. Nobody likes someone who dismisses ideas before listening and replaces them with own. Try and fill your ears before emptying your mouth. That’s pretty much it about being a gentleman.

LOVE

BEFORE AND AFTER YOU FALL IN LOVE

lol!!!

Before - You take my breath away

After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - Twice a night

After - Twice a month

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation

After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever

After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop

After - Don't start

Before - Is that all you're having?

After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream

After - It's like he lives in a dorm

Before - Turbocharged

After - Jumpstart

Before - We agree on everything

After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own

Before - Feathers and handcuffs

After - Ball and chain

Before - Idol

After - Idle

Before - I love a woman with curves

After - I never said you were fat

Before - He's completely lost without me

After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still

After - This relationship is going nowhere

Before - You look so seductive in black

After - Your clothes are so depressing

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other

After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

Before - Passion

After - Ration

Before - Once upon a time

After - The end

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PARTY SHOT

It gets dark real slow when you look forward to a night of pomp and glamor in the first weekend of the semester. Everything has to go in tandem with the mood of the night. The ladies get a little skimpy and the guys wear something that won’t inhibit all the dances that require some agile movements. The parties often start in the hostels with the ladies trying out different for the night to cater for both the cold and agility during gyration. The guys never take make up into much consideration as much as the dress code. It is here that the guys unleash their well reserved clothes and demons as well. If you needed to make a fashion statement, then you didn’t have to hold your breath for long. This is the much needed platform to do something better than the alpha males of the society. If you don’t look as good as him then your chances to get lucky are a wee bit slimmer than the lady he will dance with. Pray ye that it’s not your girlfriend or worse, your crush… honestly I don’t know how that is worse but if you have a crush you might crack my code. It is where people realize relationships were never that serious after all. Girls don’t tag boyfriends along and vice versa is also as likely.

Total drama goes down when boyfriends dance with everybody. They all get a turn apart from the official girl and what ensues is as obvious as the color of blood. Hold onto that thought. Drinks are In plenty and they are accompanied by dances; every weird one of the routines. The student centre is stocked with all kinds of frothy and fuzzy drinks alike. Of late they have discovered some distilled liquor in the name of white mischief that gets you mischievous all night. People grind all night then when people don’t find a solution to the week’s distress at the bottom of their bottles, enters the party spoilers. These are always the battle brawlers. After they have had one too many to drink nobody is stronger than them. They will always find fault in the most righteous of circumstances. On this one particularly they just wreaked havoc to any weakling in there. In the wake of such vices on the dance floor, the bouncers if any, take the fights outside or deal with the drunks squarely. With them out of the way, the second rate males grab this chance to hit the dance floor with the pretty ladies the alpha males were unwise to leave behind. You might think this is the part good triumphs over evil but NO. The ladies then decide not to dance with the guys they don’t much less the ‘lame’ guys in school. So in these kind of frustration some take to the seats and take it out on anybody unlucky enough to cross their path. With all kinds of people in such a social place, it is expected to get to various people with various mood swings. For someone who has seen a rough week, it would be very mean if an alpha male ruins any chance of you getting a dance by maybe charming your girl away with his charms on the floor. If solitude was not planned for, it’s never the best place to stay after a lady prefers another over you. Slowly waltz away and make sure she or nobody else does not notice this. Sad is now when none of the ladies you went with even does as much as look your way unless she needs water. They all get snatched away and before you know it, you know nobody on the dance floor. This for a dude is not good news. No lady with principals dances with a stranger. I never really get the whole point of principality or morality here but moving on swiftly, as a guy, don’t stick around or you will have stuck something right through your heart. This is that point in the party where everyone has danced their energy away and the heat is going away faster than the night. There are lovers dove tailed into each other everywhere and we can’t forget those who have been knocked out of their senses lying prostrate on the ground in a pool of their own saliva, urine or worse vomit.  Normally it’s always two by two in the fields adjacent to the student center and the security never have a say in that lest they arouse the anger of the drunk and Lord knows how well those people can ruin your night or worse your life.

At this juncture a wise deejay will put people in the mood and it’s a one way ticket to cloud nine. When the cold gets too intense it’s the breaking point and this is where couples part ways or lucky ones get rooms if you get my drift. With the security on guard and high alert such an attempt is way futile so walking alone in the cold to your place is a welcome idea also.

I didn’t get to touch on the dances because it is much common knowledge that men will preferably grind or mount if comfortable. Then there happens to be those kids who never left their houses under normal circumstances at the wee hours of the night. These are the same kind who are clumsy on the dance floor. They will either work over time to make sure you never get to dance with the lady you came with by throwing themselves all over the dance floor or she might step on all your toes while dancing and considering the dancing styles, I doubt if it’s only the toes that will get hurt. Ladies too have a weak point. It’s not always about grinding and groping on the dance floor. Time to get all kinky will come much later. It’s about the routine too. Rubbing on the guy too hard might cause pain as opposed to the much desired effect and it’s particularly not a good thing if you want the guy to stick around. If you are not particularly that jiggly or music gets you in the mood for anything else apart from dancing, there is an upside. You can watch the rest exorcise their demons on the floor as you suck down your drink frothy or otherwise. Funny though, these are the guys who always get the best ladies. Sad but true. It’s not a curse to be single but do the guys who do so little deserve so much really?....

[THINGS WOMEN REALLY NEED TO KNOW...]

‎[THINGS WOMEN REALLY NEED TO KNOW...]

Ok ladies, this is for you. Some of you just

don’t know what it’s like to be a man, or know

what a man wants. Now, while I admit we’re

not as mysterious as women, there’s still some

things you need to know. Your man may just

be too scared to tell you, so am gonna do it

for them. Yep that’s me, standing up for men’s

rights everywhere.

1.If you’re cooking a special dinner for a man, be

sure to include something from each of the 3 major male food groups: Meat, Fried and Beer. Except for a vegeterian like me of course it should be easier.

2.When he asks for a threesome with you and

your best friend, he is only joking.

Unless the answer is yes.

3.Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not

funny. Seriously.

4.Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It

does something to our manhood. This is just as good as hitting the balls...

5.Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.

6.If you really want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.

7.Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking

felon from across the room is not funny.

8.“Fine.” is not an acceptable way to end an

Argument.

9.Money does not equate love. NO. It should only put food on the table not put you in bed...

10.If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions

you don’t really want the answer to.

11.He does not want to be just friends. Friend zone is not that exciting to any man's ears.

12.He was not looking at that other girl.

Well, okay… maybe a little.

Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal.Like you never looked at another guy…

13.He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking,

most successful man you have ever met. a)

And all your friends think so too. Especially the

cute ones.

14.Your (select appropriate item) butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine. As a matter of

fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.

15.If you want a satisfying sex life, you will never

fake an orgasm. Ever.

16.It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of

Your menstrual flow with him.

17.Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no

matter how feeble (ie: frying an egg,

fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with

roughly the same degree of praise a parent

might shower upon their infant when it walks

for the first time.

18.Those male models with perfect bodies are all

gay. Accept it.

19.He heard you the first time.

20.Dirty laundry comes in several categories:

Looks fine/smells fine, Looks fine/smells bad,Looks dirty/smells fine. Unless you intend to

wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in

this manner.

21.Yes, Sharon Stone/Pamela Anderson/Rihanna is prettier than you. Just like Brad Pitt/Antonio Banderas/Keanu Reeves is

better looking than him. But since neither one

of you is going to be dating any of these

people, love the one you’re with.

22.His (fill inappropriate selections:) bald spot/

beer gut/impossibly thick glasses/impotency/scabby rash, is cute.

23.Watching football is a major turn-on for you.

But please wait until the halftime show to act

upon that…

24.A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence: “You know, why don’t we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here having freaky circus sex all night?”

WORD TO LOVE BIRDS

Am here to speak on behalf of all the stranded men who don’t know how to tell any insecure lady friend who just ignored them for starting an innocent conversation owing to the fear that the dude might be hitting on her. A dude might start a conversation for a few other reasons apart from the stereotyped one. It’s sad that some ladies seek for attention in places they are not known then when they are known by the few that matter in that respective society, they start making enemies of the few ‘insignificant’ friends.

High self-esteem is a great thing to have but ladies especially tag along a little pride with it and this is the fly in the ointment.it now dawns on them that they deserve better and any friend (read boys) not meeting the cut is not worthy of their company.

Saddening huh? But the men are part to blame because we are too bold and prioritize unimportant things in the ladies.no am not saying being bold is wrong in fact I hear some ladies dig that but why should you think every lady is the same?

It is only safe to assume every lady needs a friend ,a person to count on when she is down and a person to make her happy above all. There won’t miss one who might mistake that for just a show in order to get into her pants. Though it’s a safe guess, you might lose sight of the good, sincere and caring young man clearly after your heart and not your cookies.

broken pieces

The pieces are on the floor

Every one walks on them as they please

Is it because I didn’t pick them up on time?

Or glued them together to bring it back?

The more they walk on them the more it is impossible

Because soon enough they will be turned to dust

And be blown to oblivion by the winds.

Am hoping that never comes to pass

I’d give my all to avoid it getting any worse

I just hope once I pick them up

They won’t get smashed again

                                               This time I promise to take care of my heart

I WANT HER BACK

with nothing to hold onto any more
odds have it that i take back what i swore
its heart wrenching they all said she's a whore
but she made me tick and my inner being explore.

i swore to maintain my pride and never get back
right now all that sounds to me like cheap slack
and the list is endless of the things i lack
by not having her by my side.i'd call it tough luck.

in another world they call us star crossed lovers
after how we parted i doubt she can have me over
i can't look another lady in the eye and not see her.

i tell her am happy but i hardly believe it
i can't have another because they can't be her
so sad that she knows every of my heartbeat
i want her back that my heart can beat for her
i want her back but she is near yet too far

my hands quiver when i touch my lips
every time i think of how it felt to have yours
the tender memories from my mind don't slip
the feel of your skin on mine and a gaze so pure.

yesterday i dreamt you kissed me
before i kissed back reality parted we
the whole morning i could not think straight
without your love i feel like dead weight.

standing tall but dying from inside out
because your love is what my life is all about
we didn't have to be together too long
for me to realise its you i want by my side all along.

i have all your pictures as souvenir
for the moments in life that i hold so dear
i know you wont look my way anymore
but i want you back even more.

DEAR MAMA

Everything around me is a damned reminder
my image on the mirror a spitting image of her
its something not very easy to get rid of.
some even say 'you could use a bottle of smirnoff.'
though i know that wont be any good
i cant even bring myself to eat someone else's food.
she was a strong woman with her faith on
with every prayer we hoped she'd hold on
she left a lot of wisdom in the heart of her children
her motherly care the people where or when
it can be seen with where we have all wound
she could use her finger to poke dirt out of our ears
and use the chance to give meaning to our years
she'd crack a joke every now and then
but when angered she didn't keep it in
we might have had a few misunderstandings
but she was wise her valour notwithstanding
its now i learn and get to understand
what she said when she'd reprimand
sometimes i misunderstood her love and care
to be harsh and to rebel i did dare
but once she whispered to me
you will know i mattered when am gone
it brings tears every time i know she was right
and how hard i had put up a fight
i even think she left to be away from me
for all the things i had done and didn't mean
i know its too late to say am sorry
but my heart is filled with a burden of worry
guilt and regret eat me up inside
it breaks my heart it breaks my pride
am hoping in the afterlife this will be legible
and that she may know i love her so.

i love you mum.

i got a feeling

i ve got a feeling deep inside
that there is something you hide
baby in me you can confide
and to the promise i will abide

you know sometimes am strong
but all the friends are wrong
they make me feel weak
and maybe i might become sick
with all this backstabbing.

on such a day like this
my heart is filled with bliss
to have my old friends come
and my fears not confirmed
when in trouble of any kind
comfort in you i find
people complain how much love is blind
but am greatful this makes me see
for i will open my eyes wide
and see everything above the knee.

standing ovation

say dark and surely not brown
aliggned white teeth the mirror reflects
the eyes i fear to look at
they penetrate deep into ones conscience
the mind devices alot
but there is nothing i can't handle.

how he thinks and talks
makes me proud to call him my brother
he is a bother at times when he
strays away after a middle aged beauty
but from him i learn alot about
the ever proud race they call 'selam'

by leah

a poets judgement

as a matter of fact i stay aside
since love is like a bribe
and with nothing to hide
i beg to with hold my pride.
having is of many dimensions
and operation are not my section
for now love i hate to mention
it is an unsolvable equation
give thee time for meditation
and i will have a solution
by Leah.

by my side

with you by my side
am always filled with pride
and with nothing to hide
i hereby confess my love
its only you i want to have
when i thought love was patient
i ended up a patient of love
loving with an indefinite quotient
yet its not even half of what you deserve.

hurt

you must be hurt and dont want to see him again
but remember without his goodnight kiss you felt plain
that was when you could not keep your eyes off each other
and when he was more than a siamese twin brother

maybe its time you moved on and forgot the past
but remember you will always look back over your worst
and see the best that happened between you
not to worry coz that only occurs to a few
but its almost second nature
that avoids no creature.

gone

love is like a tree
that hosts every bird thats free
but it comes a time when wind blows
and none of the young birds grow


how can we be lovers if we cant be friends
how can we be lovers if she just pretends
giving tender lies is one of her trends
but no love is lost since we just cant blend.

it is easy to love but hard to be loved
its like an old wood that cant be curved
i will fight to the end and thats what i mean
and after this let the best man win.


i loved a lady she loved me not back
i tried every means but futile was my work
i was reduced to a simple vibe donor
when her promises she failed to honor
i have this one confession to make
love is blind so i have to be awake
but i don't think i made a mistake.

tsk

morning has come for another day
the night ended in a very special way
so leave your worries on the blue blue bay.
my life is full of pain
i do not know when i will smile again
but i look forward to tomorrow
a tomorrow with no sorrow.
sometimes i walk out and scream
trying to make this nightmare a dream
i always try to get rid of the past
but every good comes to the worst.
to some i might look desperate
but its unfortunate i can't change fate.
you might fel bothered when i pop in
and my prescence completely choking.
love is a decision not a feeling
and its the choices we make that kill or give healing
the strength to overcome the feeling is love
but the strength to run away is not the above
that is why i decided not to tell God how big
my worries are but tell the problems how big
my God is and of his sustainance to this day.
i wont tell you to love me or not but every
path i have trod leads back to you.

give and take

a woman is what you make out of her and what she makes out of you.she will always magnify whatever you throw in her way.you give her a smile she will give you her heart and happiness,a sperm she will give you a baby.a house she will give you a home and guess what,give her crap and be sure to be nursing wounds in some district hospital.it doesnt have to be in nyeri,utachapwa in fact emotional wounds take longer to heal.

WHY?

since when you decided to leave
a sigh of unbelief i always heave
you decided to move away
but i still love you anyway
i am always there when you call
i will always help when you fall
forgetting you is such a pain
in my mind you will forever remain
i will be left to ask why
but anyway for now goodbye.

meaning of love

The meaning of love I never knew

Until closer to you forth I drew

To clearly get your beautiful view

That is when in me  seed grew

A tree of love that no wind blew

It was never like the morning dew

That the sun shone and up it flew

I did find treasure only known by few

It changed my life and started a new

last night

Since that night things haven’t been the same

Because in me you built an everlasting flame

It happened so fast I don’t know who to blame

The thought of it just makes my heart lame

Your sight makes my feelings hard to tame

trust me its no play or game

But I tremble under the weight of your name

FATE

I don’t know whether this is my fate

But I’ve been caught in your drag net

You made me like what I used to hate

Thro’ convincing and your confident gait

In your own net you are the bait

That’s why I have been happy of late

Because I have tasted the best of my mate.

THIEF

I am not sure but my heart might be stolen

And I don’t know for whom it has fallen

A beauty you are like the Trojan Hellen

Surely there has been no beauty in heaven

Wherever my heart is it won’t be broken

With water from your love it will be sodden

And day by day it will eventually soften

I will never forget you I will remember you often.

LIP SERVICE

I don’t care what the people might say

All I know is that I am here to stay

Because you take my sorrows and trouble away

And gladly bring to me a new day

I sincerely don’t know how to repay

But I will make sure no one stands in our way

And with our blossoming love play

Lest I cast a spell on him and make him decay 

friends

once upon a time there was a friendly pair

out in the bush they went to fare

birds were chirping and there was cool air

out of the bush came a grizzly bear

'run',thin said as if he did care

'for it will find us and our flesh twill tear.'

to the fat one this was quite a dare

so he lay down and said a long prayer

thin climbed a tree and was up in the air

this was too much meat for bear to spare

but it sniffed through him and blew in the ear

thin came down and asked of what did fare

'it whispered in my ears to meet it at its lair

to make a meal of a friend who doesn't care'

thin went away because his anger did flare

there was no friendship hence.they split from there.

bitter roots

Come and taste the bitter root

The root that bears sweet fruit

This is not meant for the brute

Whose brains are blank and minute

Just like the holes of a flute

But to those who use every minute

To read the books with no limit

They never make noise that will inhibit

One to read his book bit by bit

But rather take the bitter roots

And later eat the sweet fruit

hmmm

This time I want to be brief

In expressing my sorrow and grief

Help me get over this belief

And get my soul some relief

I once got myself into a strife

And It was like the stab of a knife

I was almost parting with my life

Were it not for the love of my wife.

Thanks be to God am alive

Through the strife I did survive

He really helped me to revive

And here I come with a drive

That has helped me safely arrive.

my life

This time I want to be brief

In expressing my sorrow and grief

Help me get over this belief

And get my soul some relief

I once got myself into a strife

And It was like the stab of a knife

I was almost parting with my life

Were it not for the love of my wife.